monday march24 2008
so devastated, tired and scared. my wonderfull husband of 21 yrs is giving up. Since 2000 he has battled low grade bladder cancer stage T1 or so we thought. He has had 9 TUR’s countless BCG’s 3 surgeries in the last 10 months. With nothing but problems, finally after his last surgery FEB 14, DR sent him to cleveland clinic, we took 2 slides from last 2 surgeries OCT> 2007 and FEb. 2008 was told not to worry according to the pathology reports it was just going to be a nuisance getting tumors removed every couple months then last wed 7pm the dreadfull call.The 2 slides we took were sent out to be checked and guess what ITS HIGH GRADE T3 it has been for a minamal of 6 months Dr want his bladder removed asap. As he put it TO TRY AND SAVE HIS LIFE the pathology department messed up in our home town so now surgery will be in Cleveland. But husband says its been 2 long and he will just get affairs in order and wont talk about it no more. Someone please answer WHAT DO I DO ?? He says if already spread he will not go thruogh with anything I need advice
Liz – I am so sorry to read your post. It is hard to fight every day. Maybe your husband just needs a little break before picking up the fight again. I am not sure what to tell you other than we are here to listen and support you. Hang in there.
Jill, Thank you. right now i could really use a ear that is outside the box of family telling me what i should say to him or what i should tell him to do. We are both just in limbo right now I cant think of nothing but what is right in front of me, i’m so mad right now, not at him but at the fact that I want to spend another 20 or so years married to him. We met when we were 15 married at 18 and and just had our 21 yr anniversay I cant imagine taking a breath without him by my side..
AM I CRAZY OR WHAT ?? I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE TO SAVE HIS , he is a man of that stature, my hero thats for sure. Thanks again I will write more just to let people know what kind of man that this UGLY C word is taking from me and to keep you posted as to how he is doing tonight not so good he is in a lot of pain and just bleeding so bad . it kills me to see him this way
Dear Liz; Such sad news have brought. YOu know your husband I’m sure wants to fight, but maybe he is just too sick to find the fight at this moment. Perhaps when you go to the next Hospital appt. there will be some encouraging news for you both. Life is hard and yes CANCER SUCKS big time. I can see how much you love him and want him around. This must just be too much at times but you are there in his life and struggle to comfort him in whatever way seems right. Life should never dictate to us when we fight or give in. It is not a right or wrong decision but a soul searching and communicating issue that you and your husband need to talk out. If you love him he will let you really know what he chooses and of course because you love him you will abide and give him the comfort and love he deserves. I know you feel you won’t be able to go on without him but you must prepare and be in the present so you can give all you can to what is left. God bless both of you.